The (Non)Acceptance Of Compliments & Praise

How comfortable are you with receiving, accepting and internalising recognition from others, whether through personal compliments or professional praise? In the past, I often deflected compliments, usually with humour or by downplaying myself—not to the point of complete unworthiness, but certainly to the point of feeling less deserving of the kindness being offered.

Over time, I trained myself to respond with a simple “Thank you” and a smile, not to seem impolite. However, this response wasn’t always a true reflection of my ability to genuinely accept a compliment.

One experience stands out on this journey of learning to appreciate my own worth: an exercise during my NLP training years ago, where we were asked to praise ourselves. It was a challenge—one that revealed how skillfully I had been casting shadows over my achievements, my worth and my value.

Fast forward to last week, when I found myself gently placing a hand on my cheek (patting myself on the cheek instead of the back), offering myself the same compassion and acceptance I would offer a child in pain. At that moment, I realised just how far I had come on this journey of self-acceptance.

Only a few days later, over coffee with a friend, we discussed this shared struggle. It struck me that those who seem most confident often wrestle with self-acceptance and self-worth, fooling both society and themselves. While I am familiar with the pain of self-rejection and the numbness of denial, I now find peace in the expanding acceptance of who I am—though I know the inner work is ongoing.

If you recognise some of these experiences in yourself or someone close to you, trust me, working on our limiting self-beliefs and reprogramming thoughts that no longer serve us is worth every effort. I say this not only as a therapist who helps others navigate deep-seated doubts about self-worth but as someone who has learned to internalise compliments and quiet her own inner critic.

Unravelling the roots of our self-doubt and understanding when our sense of worth was first undermined is essential. Through self-knowledge and compassion, we can break free from the prison of our minds, accept our true selves, and gracefully receive genuine compliments. This acceptance nourishes us as individuals and strengthens our relationships with others.

I’m grateful to those who have supported me on this journey, and I encourage anyone who recognises the need to embark on a similar path to do so without delay.

Thank you for reading my personal reflection. I hope it resonates with you and encourages a deeper understanding of this important topic.

As a therapist, I delve into this topic further in my article, “The (In)ability to Receive a Compliment.” You can read it here: https://lnkd.in/dfqPHnGE